I am busy. That’s what I keep telling myself. I have a lot going on. I have my 9 to 5, my side hustle, making time for friends and family, trying to get a handle on this new healthy lifestyle of meal planning, finding enough time in the day to work out, checking emails and text messages and writing that screenplay that has been dancing around my head for the greater part of the last twelve years. Oh yes, and I am also in the process of purchasing my first home in Brooklyn.
I have a lot on my plate and I have many people and things vying for my time and attention. But that’s not an excuse for neglecting this blog, for not blogging more often than I have been. The truth is my emotions about this house have been so up and down that it literally makes me sick to think about it. I am excited. I am happy. Being a homeowner is something that I have longed for for ten years. I got really close to purchasing a coop apartment five years ago and did not experience these same emotions. I am nervous as all hell. The idea of being in debt scares me. The idea of committing to 30 years of monthly payments sends my heartbeat racing. I am not accustomed to having all this debt. It makes me sick. My attorney sent me the final closing cost amount on Monday and as I saw the figures, I immediately got a pounding headache which lasted for several hours. I try to be positive and think about all the good things that will come with this home, privacy, safety and independence. But then I think about all the things the house needs and or lacks, like a renovated kitchen, heavy duty cleaning, paint. Will a sectional sofa be ok for the space? etc. You may notice a pattern here, a commonality in the concerns. Money. Will I have enough money to do the kind of work I want to do in this home. Will I have the money to truly make this house my home?
I try to focus on the positives. My final walk-through has been scheduled for tomorrow at 6:00 pm. My closing has been scheduled for the following morning. The walk-through will be the third time that I will have viewed the property. I initially saw it at the open house, second was at the home inspection. But those were months ago. I almost forget what it looks like. I have been viewing the pictures from the listing online to recollect my memory. The beauty of the walk-through is that the home will be empty and free of the seller’s stuff. I am happy about that. My attorney has informed me that the sellers have a right to remain in the home up to seven days after the closing. However, the sellers have already relocated out of state. Following the closing and getting the keys I will head to the house to clean it. Then change the locks. Then I will assess what other work needs to be completed.